


A Feeling Of Home

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:19:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8287177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Delving into Robert's thoughts last night, what was going through his mind. Hope it reads okay, but it needed to be written, after that!





	

Robert knew no one else would quite understand, but he had needed to kiss Rebecca. To see. Every relationship before, he’d strayed, barely even thinking about it and surely not feeling guilty. He wanted to know how he’d feel when offered everything he thought he’d wanted before Aaron. Because one thing he was sure of, if he got married again, he wanted it to last, to be permanent. He wanted the commitment and he didn’t want to shy away from Aaron, or ruin it by reverting to his former behaviour. So he’d kissed her, to see how it felt. If he even felt tempted to cheat, or take Rebecca to bed. And he had felt nothing. Or, that wasn’t strictly true, he’d felt guilt, lots of it. It was never going to go further The kiss had been such a brief press of lips, hardly anything. And the guilt swamped him, the sure knowledge that he couldn’t do this. To Aaron, or to himself. He had wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. 

Now he knows without a shadow of a doubt what he wants. He’d run the idea past Vic and she’d been all for it, but now, at this moment, he couldn’t remember ever being surer about anything in his life. Aaron calms him down, Aaron keeps him safe, and he knows he'll never wreck this. He doesn’t remember driving into town, or going to the jewellers. He does remember standing outside the window, looking at all the rings and feeling that nothing looked good enough or right for Aaron. Too many diamonds, too flashy, nothing like he’d wear. Robert goes into the shop and a pretty sales assistant looks at him hopefully.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for an engagement ring,” Robert says. The woman beams at him, sensing an expensive sale, Robert thinks to himself. She indicates the glass cabinet and Robert shakes his head, seeing the thin bands and large diamonds, all far too feminine. “No, for my boyfriend,” he elaborates. The woman nods, with barely a flicker on her face, telling Robert to follow her. They go to the back of the shop and Robert relaxes, seeing simple bands, elegant and much more masculine. Much more right.

“I’ll leave you to have a look.”

“Thank you,” Robert says sincerely. He does look carefully, considering each until he finds the one he likes. It’s not one that Robert himself would wear, but in his minds eye he can see it on Aaron’s hand. He knows that’s the right one. Of course, Robert picks out the most expensive choice. He feels a brief moment of irritation at the cost, but it fades quickly. Hopefully, with any luck, Aaron will be wearing this ring for the rest of his life. The money doesn’t matter. It never mattered when it came to Aaron. 

Back at home, he makes sure Vic and him are alone when he shows her the ring. It’s the pause as Vic looks at it that has him second guessing. “You don’t like it?” he asks, unable to hide how nervous he is. He’s done this before, proposed to someone, but somehow it has never mattered the way it does now. He wants the ring to be right, he wants everything to be perfect, even knowing he can’t do a big romantic thing. Aaron would hate a big thing, Robert knows. And he badly wants a yes. After everything they’ve been through, Aaron has stuck by him, and Robert seriously cannot imagine spending his life with anyone else. His heart still catches when he sees Aaron in a certain way. Usually when he’s distracted, laughing at something Adam’s said, when he looks free and happy and himself. He can’t believe he got this lucky, Robert knows he doesn’t deserve him.

Vic tells him he could look happier, but right now, he can’t. It isn’t that he doesn’t want this, he does. But the thing pausing his happiness is that he isn’t sure of Aaron’s answer. One of Aaron’s attractions in the first place had been that he always surprised him, never quite acting the way Robert anticipated before hand.

When he’s put the ring carefully back in his jacket, he goes out to the front of the pub, seeing Aaron at the bar. He doesn’t slow, simply puts his hand on Aaron’s shoulder and nods to the door, knowing without looking that Aaron will have followed him. They always manage to communicate so well without words, they always did. Robert should have known back then, that Aaron couldn’t be a fling, not with the deep connection they’d always felt. Robert suddenly cannot bear to not be touching him and pulls him close by his belt. The kiss is desperate, heated, urgent, hands everywhere, their bodies with no space between them. Neither of them seem to care they’re in public. Robert eventually pulls back first, Aaron’s hands sliding under his jacket ringing a warning bell. Normally he wouldn’t object, but he can feel the weight of the engagement ring in his pocket. He doesn’t want Aaron to feel it, to ruin the surprise.

“Upstairs?” Robert suggests, his voice low and wanting, his hands still on Aaron’s hips, feeling Aaron already aroused.

“Mm,” Aaron agrees, pulling him in for another kiss, this time softer, slower, more gentle. Robert feels it every time he kisses Aaron now, he just wasn’t sure exactly what it was, or how to put a name to this feeling. But he knows now, knows what to call it. A feeling of belonging, of being needed and wanted. It's more. It's a feeling of home.


End file.
